Pairing: JunChun, HoJae (Junho/Jaejoong), Yunho
Genre: Angst, Drama, Romance
Summary: Both Junsu and Yoochun are suffering from repeated nightmares.
Beta by chunsangel Thank you for your help. I really appreaciate it. HUGS
A/N: This is my first post after 6 months of posting anything...so forgive me if this fail...LOL...but it's JunChun Contest and I want to at least participate to my OTP....So I hope you all enjoy it....
Soft small whimpers echoed through the walls, followed by the shakes and jerks that soon rattled over Yoochun’s body. The blankets twisted between his legs, a thin sheen of sweat covering his frail body as he desperately tried to fight away his demon. It wasn’t long until the soft sound of whimpers soon turned to scream of torture as it shook the four walls of his bedroom. Hands clenched tightly into tiny fists, leaving bloody nails imprints on the inside of his palms, Yoochun suddenly jumped up with wide eyes, breaths coming in harsh pants as he desperately tried to calm down his own beating heart.
It had been weeks since it first started and Yoochun thought that it was best to keep this secret to himself. Every night he would woke up screaming his head off with no memories of what his nightmares were about. And soon Yoochun had decided that sleep was overrated as he started to sleep less and less.
“Well you look like shit.” Yunho stated as he paid his best friend a visit. It had been weeks since he had heard anything from the younger man. “Have you been sleeping?”
Yoochun bit his lips and kept his eyes concentrated on the cup of coffee in front of him, keeping quiet. Yunho narrowed his eyes at Yoochun as he studied the younger man closely. He could see how Yoochun had changed in these two weeks, the way he acted and looked. Yunho could clearly see the fatigued that had to start taking over Yoochun entirely.
“Chunnie-ah, what’s going on?” Yunho asked voice calm and correct, a total opposite of what he was feeling on the inside.
“Nothing.” Yoochun mumbled as he self-consciously tugged the sleeves of his sweater down further his wrists, still avoiding Yunho’s gaze. “Don’t worry about it, hyung.”
“Don’t…” Yunho practically yelled in anger, but kept in mind to remind calm. It wouldn’t do them any good if Yoochun shut himself off. “Don’t worry? How could I not worry, Chun? You’re not eating or sleeping. Am I right?”
Meeting Yunho’s furious gaze, Yoochun bit his lips before looking away and Yunho knew, he knew. “Are your nightmares back? Aren't they?”
“Yoochun.” Yunho called, voice firm and demanding as he gently yet firmly forced Yoochun to look at him. “Are they back?”
A few moments passed before Yoochun replied, eyes revealing everything and his voice was too soft to miss. “It’s not that big of a deal, hyung. I can manage.”
“You can manage? Not that big of a deal?” Yunho lost it. “Of course it is a big deal, Chunnie-ah. It affects you so much. How can you say that this isn’t a big of a deal?” eyes softening at how the younger man cringed at the truth. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Yoochun shrugged. “Don’t want to burden you.”
Giving out a soft exasperated sigh, Yunho pulled the younger man into his embrace, cradling him almost protectively. “You are never a burden to me, remember that.”
“Good.” Placing a brotherly kiss on the top of Yoochun’s hair; Yunho decided what needed to be done to save Yoochun. “I’m moving back in and I’m not taking no for an answer.”
“NO! HANG ON TO ME! YOOCHUN!”
His breaths came in harsh pants, the beating of his own heart echoed loudly in his ears, it was the only sound he could focus on. He felt the bed dip and soon a warm gentle hand followed, rubbing his back, providing the comfort he desperately needed. But it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. Not when there was still that gaping hole deep inside his heart.
“The same dream?” Junho asked with a knowing look.
The same dream had been plaguing his twin’s mind for the past three years. Ever since the accident that changed all of their lives. His heart ached; literally, every times Junsu would wake up screaming until his throat felt raw for the one person he loved more than anything. The two of them had never been one to be religious, but praying for his brother’s happiness had been a nightly ritual for him, asking, begging GOD to help him, to ease his pain.
“More like nightmare.” Junsu mumbled, body slumping toward the warmth of his brother. Junho easily welcomed his brother’s body into his embraced. “Junho?”
“Hmmm…” Junho hummed, his chest vibrating lightly, showing that he was listening.
“Will I ever find him?” Junsu asked desperately. His eyes begged as if he were asking for something so simple.
Junho sighed. “You know I can’t answer that, Su.”
“Sometimes I wonder if he was really alive.”
“We know that he is alive for a fact. We have witnesses who did saw him last.” Junho reminded him gently.
He knew the information was little, but it was all they had and they had to believe in it. They had to. It was faith and mostly luck really that they stumbled onto an old fisherman who claimed to see a young man that fit the description of who they had been searching for, and told them that yes he was alive while he was being rescued. Just as they had caught a break in their search, the luck they had disappeared just as fast. By the time they tracked down the correct hospital. The person that they had been searching for was no longer there. That was almost three years ago. There was no new lead since then.
“It’s been three years, hyung.” Junho squeezed his brother a little tighter.
Junsu had rarely called him hyung since they were only a minute apart in age, but when he did, Junho knew that his twin was near breaking point. Junho feared the day that Junsu couldn’t hold on to that tiny piece of hope and break down all together.
“I don’t know how much longer I can continue living without him by my side.” Junsu whispered. A lone tear dripped down his now sunken cheek.
“You can and you will.” Junho stated determinedly. “Trust your gut feeling that he is alive. Trust us that we can find him. Have faith, Junsu.”
Junsu shut his eyes and softly prayed to whoever might hear his prayer and grant him this one wish. “Please, Yoochun-ah. Where ever you are please come back to me. I need you.”
“You know, just because it's huge and the chance of it sinking is like one in a million, doesn’t mean I’m ok with this trip.” Yoochun whined to his newlywed husband. “Why can’t we go on normal honeymoons like any other couple?”
Junsu chuckled before planting a soft yet sensual kiss that promptly shut his husband whining. “Come on, Baby, it will be fun.”
“But I can’t swim!” Yoochun pouted, arms wrapped themselves around Junsu’s neck as he demanded more kisses which Junsu happily obliged that quickly turned into a small make out session.
“Get a room!” Yelled Jaejoong, his best friend/brother-in-law.
Yoochun breathlessly pulled away from the heated kiss only to stick his tongue out at his best friend in a friendly bantered. Junsu growled and whispered huskily to Yoochun at his husband’s action. “Put that thing away or you will find yourself naked begging me to let you cum.”
Yoochun’s eyes darken with lust at Junsu’s words. If it wasn’t for Jaejoong’s strong grip, Yoochun would have immediately started to rip Junsu's and his own clothes off uncaring that they were in a public place.
“Would you two keep it in your pants and wait until we find our rooms?” Jaejoong practically hissed into his best friend’s ears. “GOD, newlywed!”
“Hey!” Junsu pulled Yoochun back into his arms and gave a mock glare to his brother-in-law. “You weren’t any better when you first married Junho.”
Junho roared with laughter as he enclosed his arms around the now red-faced Jaejoong. “Just let them be, Boo. They just got married. We were like that too, you know.”
Jaejoong huffed, but eventually left the newlywed alone. “We still are.”
“You said we were like that once. I’m just telling you that we are, not were.” Jaejoong pouted.
“Of course, BooJae.”
“What is with you two today?” Junsu asked out of the blue as they proceeded to check-in and followed the staff to the location of their rooms. He had noticed it since they stepped onto the ship that the two best friends were being a little antsy.
“I don’t know.” Jaejoong mumbled, but loud enough for them to hear. “I’ve been having this uneasy feeling since this morning.”
“Me too.” Yoochun echoed. He didn’t want to say anything and ruin the honeymoon that Junsu had been planning for months.
“I’m sure it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it so much. Try to relax and have some fun.” Junsu suggested.
“It’s probably just nerves since you two can’t swim.” Junho teased earning a swat from Jaejoong and a pout from Yoochun.
Yunho jerked awake in the middle of the night only to find the left side of the bed empty and cold. He let his eyes adjust to the darkness before throwing the cover off to search for Yoochun. Earlier they had fallen asleep together; it was a habit easily formed whenever Yoochun’s nightmares started and when Yunho stayed over. It was the only comfort that Yoochun allowed himself to have, a proper rest.
A soft whimper brought Yunho’s attention to his right. He carefully felt his way through the open closet, the sight that greeted him wasn’t so surprising anymore. Yoochun was huddled in the corner, knees pulled up close to his chest as he buried his head in them, trying to make himself as small as possible. The nightmare probably woke him up once again.
“Yoochun?” Yunho called out softly. He crouched down in front of the crying man and gingerly reached his hand out to touch Yoochun’s knee. Before anything else could be spoken, Yunho gathered Yoochun’s trembling body into his arms.
“You’re OK. You’re OK. You’re OK.” Yunho whispered the words over and over again. As the trembling lessened, Yunho gently tilted Yoochun’s head up to brush away the falling tears. “Nightmares?”
Yoochun nodded as he always did, but what Yoochun said next surprised Yunho. “This…this time it feels different though.”
“Did you remember something?” Yunho asked with a little hope.
Yoochun bit his lips and buried himself back into Yunho’s protected embrace. “No.” He answered disappointedly. “It just…”
“Today’s nightmare is different. I think I’m not sure.” Yoochun said softly. “I can still hear it echoing in my ears. I can practically feel it against my skin.”
“Hear what? Feel what?”
“The rain, a storm actually.”
“Can you remember anything else? Like maybe the scenario? Or the people you were with?” Yunho coaxed. If Yoochun remembered anything, it would be a great help to recover his loss memory.
“No, none of that. It was just weird. I remember that I was startled awake because of it, but I could still hear the rain and thunder in my ears. It was so clear, hyung. Then all of a sudden I felt as if I was suffocating like I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs.” Yoochun whispered. “It felt as if I was drowning.”
“Chunnie?” Yunho asked. “Did you know that it rained earlier?”
Yoochun snapped his head up and stared at Yunho with wide eyes. “Is…Is that how I was found? I got lost in a storm and drowned?”
Yunho watched the younger man with sympathy. “I don’t know, Chunnie-ah. The man who found you said you were unconscious on the beach. The only item you had with you was the name tag pinned to your shirt. I’m sorry.”
Yoochun’s eyes fell with disappointment. How he wished he could remember what happened to him three years ago. As much as he tried or force himself to remember, nothing would come to his mind. None. He couldn’t even remember his own name.
“Yunho-hyung.” Yoochun whispered so softly that Yunho could barely hear him. “Do you think it would ever come back to me? My memories, I mean.”
“With every fiber in my being, Chunnie. I would certainly hope it would come back.” Yunho answered. “I’m sure somewhere out there; someone is looking for you, Yoochun. I know it.”
Jaejoong clutched the small piece of paper tightly in his hand. A friend of his colleague’s distant cousin had stumbled onto a newspaper article of a small town located in the further part of South Korea. The moment his colleague called him about the said article, Jaejoong had demanded him to send a copy to his email immediately. He needed to see it for himself if the man in the article was indeed his best friend, Yoochun. The one they had spend the last three years searching for.
His heart nearly burst into joy as the familiar face of his best friend greeted him. The news article was in fact about Yoochun and how he mysteriously appear on the beach unconscious with no recollection of who he is and where he was from. The only form of identity Yoochun had was small piece of name tag the cruise staff pinned it on his chest before the accident happened.
“JUNSU! JUNHO!” Jaejoong shouted excitedly the moment he set foot in their shared home.
Junsu rolled his eyes at Jaejoong’s excitement. He was already used to the way Jaejoong freely expressed his feeling to the world. “What's got your panties in a bunch?”
Jaejoong glared at Junsu, but it quickly morphed into a bright smile. “You know what? As happy as I am right now, I’m just going to let that one slide.”
“Awww… are you finally softening up to me?” Junsu teased.
“He’s in a happy place, don’t anger him.” Junho suggested coming up to give his husband his usual greeting kiss. “So what’s the good news that has my BooJae all excite?”
“I FOUND YOOCHUN!” Jaejoong shouted with a smile that threatened to split his face in half.
Junsu, who was sipping his coffee, choked on the steaming hot liquid. “Wha-… What?”
Junho thumped his twin’s back to help clear his throat. “Don’t joke about this, Boo.”
“I’m not.” Jaejoong protested as he shoved the copy of the newspaper article to the twin. “Here, take a look at it yourself.”
Staring wide eyes at the face of his husband, Junsu knees buckled and gave out. If it wasn’t Junho fast reflexes, Junsu would have been sitting on the floor. Shocked was an understatement. The twins could only stared at the article, eventually Junho slowly lowered both of their body down to sit on the floor.
“Th...This…This…” Junsu stuttered. He couldn’t believe his eyes. His husband, the love of his life was alive. “Is this real?”
Jaejoong chewed on his lower lips as he crouched down in front of Junsu. “Yes.”
“No joke?” Junsu almost choked on his own question. He didn’t know if his heart could take it, if this turned out to be some kind of a very cruel joke.
“No joke, Su-ah.” Jaejoong confirmed.
The tears that Jaejoong had desperately held in slipped down his rosy cheeks the moment Junsu’s tears of joy rolled down his own. Jaejoong quickly gathered the twins into a group hug as they all cried the tears of happiness. All the pain and sorrow would soon turn into those of happiness.
“Yoochun-ah, you should sleep some more. You barely slept last night.” Yunho voiced out his concern when he saw Yoochun walking over to join him on the couch.
“I can’t.” Yoochun mumbled as he buried his head against Yunho’s chest. “It’s still so fresh in my mind.”
Yunho was about to say something when the doorbell caught their attention. Looking down at an equally confused Yoochun, Yunho wondered who it could be this early. Untangling himself away from the younger man, Yoochun could be very clingy if he wanted to, Yunho gradually made his way to the door.
Opening his door, Yunho was greeted with three strangers. “May I help you?”
“We are looking for Park Yoochun. We were told that he lives here.” One of the men said.
Yunho glanced back toward the couch where Yoochun was and saw how the said man made his way toward him when he had heard someone mention his name. When Yoochun got closer, Yunho voluntary stepped away from the door, allowing the three strangers full view of the person they had been searching for.
“Yoo…Chunnie-ah.” Junsu gasped. Tears spilling down his face faster than he could stop it. Finally, he had found him. “It really is you.”
Junsu took a step closer as he ached to have Yoochun in his arms. His heart shattered as he watched how Yoochun took a step back to hide behind Yunho. Yoochun watched Junsu with wide terrified eyes. It seemed as these three people knew who he was, but tried as he might he could not remembered any of them and that freaked him out.
“I…I don’t know who you are.” Junsu’s world collapsed right before his eyes when Yoochun uttered those words.
“You don’t remember me?” Jaejoong asked as he carefully watched his best friend reaction. “Any of us?”
Yoochun shook his head. “N…No…No…”
Then everything went dark.
“Baby?” Yoochun let out a small grunt to let Junsu knew that he had heard him.
“Want to take a walk on the deck with me?” Junsu asked, hand already extending for Yoochun to take.
Yoochun rolled his eyes dramatically at his overly confidence husband. “So confidence.” Yoochun teased as he grasped the extending hand and let Junsu guide him to wherever he wanted to go. “I still can’t think of the reason why I married you.”
“Is it because I’m so good looking?”
Yoochun pretended to think. “I don’t think so.”
“Hmmm, so it’s not my good look that wins you over. Perhaps it’s my charming personality?”
“Too overly confidence. Nope, that’s not it.”
Junsu gave out an over exasperated sigh, just to make a point. “Really? Not my looks and personality? I know! It’s my talent of giving you the ultimate pleasure as I pound into you so hard you see stars.”
“JUNSU!” Yoochun blushed, hitting his husband playfully.
Junsu easily captured his husband smaller hands into his own and pulled Yoochun closer against him. Capturing those plump red lips into a fierce kiss. Yoochun moaned and arched himself closer to the heat that Junsu could only provided.
Breathless and lips still swollen from their passionate lips locking, Junsu lingered his lips over Yoochun’s wet one and whispered. “How about it? Am I right?”
The answer that was threatening to leave his mouth was lost as the ship crashed into something causing them to crash on the deck floor. It took a mere seconds before other passengers screamed in fear and panicked as someone had announced that the cruise ship had crashed into an abandon cargo ship full force causing tremendous damages.
The staffs and crews all flew into action as they instructed guests to wearing life jackets and to board in one of the many emergency boats. However, the damages had already been done as more screams and panicking caused more people to rush and fight over the things that could save their lives.
“Junsu?” Yoochun panicked, scared. “What are we going to do?”
Junsu kissed Yoochun’s temple reassuringly before tightened his hold on Yoochun’s hand. “We need to find Junho and Jaejoong.”
With every second they spend on the ship, the more unstable the ship become. The ship was stable as it crashed into the cargo ship, but as people panicked and ran around all over the place, it started to shift causing the already damaged ship to come apart further. The sound of woods creaking was almost as deafening as the scream of horror.
“JUNSU! OVER HERE!”
Junsu gasped. “Hyung, we need to get into one of the emergency boats. Quick.”
“I know, but we need to find life jackets for these two first.” Junho stated, pointing the both Jaejoong and Yoochun, who couldn’t swim.
“Let’s head over there.” Junsu pointed to their left. “I saw some earlier.”
The twin each took their spouse respective hand so they won’t get lost and separated. The four of them hurried to where Junsu had point out. They all breathed in a sigh of relief when they saw a couple of life jackets hanging around. Unfortunately there weren’t the only one; in a blink of an eye people were already sprinting to claim the life jackets.
Instinct kicked in, Junsu sprinted forward, being a fast runner, leaving Yoochun with his brother and best friend to go claim two of those life jackets that were disappearing fast. It appeared that luck was definitely not on their side. Since most people had discovered that were still some lifejackets located near the left edge of the ship. People, maybe hundreds, had started pouring into one section, fighting to get their hands on those ugly bright orange jackets, which were made to save lives.
The more people started to gather the more weight was added to that certain part of the ship. The noise of people fighting drowned out most of the noise. No one had noticed that the wooden floor was cracking, the sound of woods creaking and splitting became louder and louder as more pressure was applied causing the slit to part further.
All the chaos that was happening caused the four young men to be torn apart, lost in the crowds. Junho and Jaejoong were lucky since they were able to spot each other because they were close in remaining distant. But neither could see Junsu nor Yoochun. They were positive that Yoochun wasn’t with Junsu since they had lost Junsu the moment he splint over to grab the life jackets.
The harsh reality of the situation they were in slapped Jaejoong hard as he desperately dragged Junho along into the sea of people, pushing and pulling, in hope he would be able to find Junsu and Yoochun. The thought of not getting to see his best friends ever again flashed through Jaejoong’s mind, but he pushed it back refusing to let it distracted him. However, the chance of them not making out of this alive disturb him too much too ignore. Screams were shot out to his right and Jaejoong could feel his world tilted to the right.
“OMG. We’re sinking!”
“JAEHOONG! JUNHO!” Junsu shouted breathless as he ran over to them and grabbed them in a crushing hug. “Is Yoochun with you? I can’t find him anywhere. Please, tell me he is with you.”
Jaejoong looked at him, his eyes bordering even more in panic. “WHAT?! Yoochun’s not with us. I thought he was with you.”
“YOOCHUN! Where are you?” Junsu shouted, eyes searching for his husband.
“He’s over here, Su.” Junho yelled as he saw a glimpse off Yoochun’s on the side of the ship, where it had begun to split because of the wrecks. “Hang on, Yoochun-ah!”
“Wait, Junsu. STOP!” Jaejoong warned as they stop right at the edge.
They could see a few people over the edge along with Yoochun as those people grab onto whatever they can to hang on. Yoochun was about a quarter down from the edge. His hands were streaked with red from the splinter piercing into his delicate hand from the pieces of wood that had split from the main part of the ship. It was the only thing he could grab as he fell.
“Junsu-ah.” Yoochun breathed. He knew that there was too much blood on his hand. He couldn’t hang on much longer.
“Baby, hang on. I’m going to pull you up.” Junsu said as he lie flat down on the floor, his upper body hanging down the sharp edge, so he could get closer to Yoochun. The sharp edge of pieces of woods poked him through his chest and stomach, but he didn’t care. He needed to save Yoochun. “Hyung, Jae, grab onto my feet.”
“OK, Su. We got you.” Junho shouted as he and Jaejoong became Junsu’s anchor.
“Chunnie, give me one of your hands.” Junsu gritted. He could feel a sharp piece of wood piercing through his skin.
Yoochun shakily let go of his right hand and slowly reached it toward Junsu’s outstretched hand. But it still wasn’t enough; their hands were only mere centimeters apart. “Junsu…I…I…can’t.”
“Yes, you can, Baby.” Junsu reassured his husband. “That’s it, Baby. A little higher. Yes, I got you.”
Junsu breathed a sigh of relief as their hand finally connect, but his relief soon turned into worriy as Yoochun’s began to slowly slip out of his grasp.
“Yoochun, give me your other hand. Quick, Baby.” Junsu tightened his hand on Yoochun’s grip hoping to prolong it.
“Junsu, I’m slipping.” Yoochun cried as his grip on the piece of wood slipped.
“Give me your other hand.” Junsu said, tears brimming in his eyes at the possibility that he might lose Yoochun.
Yoochun gritted his teeth in pain as he finally let go of his left hand and stretched it toward for Junsu to take. Junsu also ignored his own pain as he reached down further for Yoochun’s outstretched hand.
“Su...Su-ah…” Yoochun cried.
Yoochun’s bloodied hand that was in Junsu’s grip slid due to the blood and sweat. Just as Yoochun’s other was able to reach the tip of Junsu’s finger tips, the one hand that was tightly clasped together slipped free causing Yoochun to fall down the depth of the ocean.
“Junsu-ah!” Yoochun shot up with wild unfocused eyes. Hair plastered to his scalp as sweat dripped down the side of his face and body.
Yunho approached Yoochun cautiously, not wanting to scare the younger man. “Yoochun, are you all right?”
“Yunho?” Yoochun asked, eyes a little glazed, but there was a twinkle of something that Yunho hadn’t ever noticed before. “I remember. I remember everything.”
“Yes, where is…”
“Yoochun?” Junsu nervously stepped inside the room.
“Junsu.” Yoochun’s eyes brimmed with tears as all the memory he had rushed back to him. He shakily stood up and made his way toward his husband.
Junsu bit back a cry that threatened to escape his lips. The joy of finally found the love of his life. The tears of joy and happiness spilled down his face at the sight of his husband, the one who he had been searching for, for three years. The one person who he had thought he might never see again was now standing in front of him. Junsu didn’t hesitate any further as he crushed Yoochun in a bone crushing hug. The two lovers cried together as one as they have finally been reunited. Junho and Jaejoong wasted no time in joining the hug. Their families completed.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Baby.” Junsu cried tears of apology. Apologized for how he couldn’t hold onto Yoochun, apologized for letting Yoochun suffer all these years, apologized for not trying hard enough.
“Junsu-ah. It’s you. It really is you.” Yoochun murmured into the crook of Junsu’s neck.
His nightmares were lifted. He could remember every nightmare so clearly now. It was always the same with how they were separated to the point where Junsu tried to pull him up and always end up with him drowning in the dark cool liquid that seem to engulf him completely. Now that Junsu had found him, Yoochun knew that he would never have to experience those nightmares ever again.
“I love you.”